I Remember He Provides

The Lord provides!  Rest in the midst of pain. . .  Friends in the loss of family. . .  A quiet place in a crowded yard. . .  A reminder of how much He's blessed and continues to bless - lest we ever forget.

* Health through the night. . . why do I fear?
* Psalm 91 - memorized - and such a help to my anxious soul.
* Hummingbird in my garden!
* Sun-speckled leaves.
* Cool shadowed spots on the asphalt - relief to summer feet.
* Shady spots under bushes and trees, just perfect for hot puppies and cats.
* Every individual mother - each one different in some way, many ways.  I see that finally.  Lord, help me to show this lovely, liberating reality to other young moms. . .
* Open windows, if only for one day.
* Knowing I'm a newbie gardener and not the first to make these newbie mistakes.
* A possible solution and plan.
* Headache relief.
* Feeling decent after not falling asleep till after 3am.
* A good morning after a rough night.
* A broken possession: reminder of what's really important.
* The crunch of walnuts.
* Eebee
* Butterflies on zinnias. . . the big monarch that lingers.
* Mom on the phone.
* A better day - much better.
* TGIF
* Kids excited, counting down days, hours.
* 3yo smiles.
* An exhuberant 5yo Happy Birthday!. . . a day early.
* A great friend who loves my kids - their pseudo-grandma.
* A BBQ full of strangers that wasn't so bad. . . quiet corner found.
* Time alone to dig for book treasures at a thrift store.
* Baby grass.

Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 3

It's simple really, this formation of habits - Christ-centered habits.

We incorporate the church year and its seasons into our plans, celebrate and mourn together with the church. We gather together with other believers on a regular basis. We accept God's invitation to commune with Him and invite others in to do the same. We sing. . . together. . . psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. We seek and submit ourselves to the will of God. We confess, regularly, to God and eachother, those sins that so easily ensnare us and weigh us down. . . and we forgive and accept forgiveness.

Here are a few more habits to help us along in our quest for a true heart-desire for God:

THE HABIT OF ENTERING THE ROYAL PRIESTHOODEnter into covenant with the body of Christ through baptism into a church. Says Smith, "Baptism is not just a picture" of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. . . It is the formation of a new citizen - a citizen of the the unified body of Christ. When we are baptized into the community of believers, we swear allegiance to the Kingdom of God and the Family of our Heavenly Father. But we must go beyond being baptized ourselves. We must also receive with prayer and encouragement others who are baptized into this Kingdom and this Family. We open our lives and homes to our new family, fellow-citizens of this new Kingdom.

THE HABIT OF STATING YOUR BELIEFS
Recite, regularly, the Apostle's Creed - memorize it, even.  Having become citizens of the Kingdom of God, we make our Pledge of Allegiance to God and His Kingdom when we say (together) The Creed - our statement of shared beliefs.  By so doing, we remind ourselves of our allegience to God and His people, remind ourselves of our Christian heritage, and remind ourselves of our beliefs.

THE HABIT OF PRAYING
Pray, habitually, throughout the day, both individually and with other believers.  Intercede for others in prayer before God.  Pray for guidance for yourself.  Every time we pray for others, we take a step outside our own concerns and interests and follow God's call to give, sacrifice, and serve others - to have compassion and consider the needs of others over our own.  Every time we pray for guidance and wisdom, we recognize our own humble state and our need for God.

THE HABIT OF LEARNING FROM GOD'S WORD
Read the Word of God.  And listen to it being read.  Get caught up in the story of the Gospel, from the beginning to the end.  Smith proposes that "imbibing the story of Scripture is the primary way that our desire gets aimed at the Kingdom."  When we get wrapped up in the Story, we see our place in it - our purpose.  The Word of God also sets forth for us an idea of how we should live. . . it shows us "the kind of people we are called to be."  Reading and being taught the Word of God - the Story of the Gospel - colors the lense through which we see the world - regular, habitual reading naturally leads to a Gospel-centered view of the world.

THE HABIT OF PARTICIPATING IN THE LORD'S SUPPER
It is easy to just go through the motions of communion, especially in churches where the Lord's supper is celebrated every week.  But do make an effort to bring your whole self into the experience of the Eucharist.  Listen to the words your minister speaks and reads - get drawn into this chapter of the Gospel story.  Allow yourself to use every sense in partaking of the bread and wine.  Look at the colors and textures, feel the bread, smell the wine, taste each element and savor while you meditate on the body and blood of Christ.  Consider what the Eucharist means to the Body of Christ:  God's blessing, His provision, His forgiveness.  When we focus our whole body and mind on the Lord's Supper, a weekly participation in this sacrament actually becomes quite a blessing - a time of restoration and an opportunity to examine our own demonstration of forgiveness and reconcilliation.

THE HABIT OF GIVING
The act of habitually giving to God and His Kingdom is a way of thanking Him for His blessings in our lives.  When we give, we "feel" it - or, if not, perhaps we should make sure we are giving to the point that we "feel" it - and thereby reinforce in our minds our covenant relationship with a generous God.  Habitual, consistent giving of our money and / or earthly possessions into the Body of Christ also solidifies (as so many of these habits do) our citizenship in the Kingdom of Heaven.  We are sharing, giving what is deemed ours to those who have need of it rather than storing it up for ourselves as is the way of the world.  We are recognizing that nothing is our own - it is God's and as such it all belongs to the Kingdom of God.

THE HABIT OF GOING INTO THE WORLD
Obey the Great Commission.  Go into the world, interact with the culture, and then invite them into to the household of Faith.  Pray God's blessing on every interaction you have during the day - coat your humanity in prayer.  Then, by going forth, you take the blessing of the Kingdom of God into a lost world.

Twelve habits - rituals that form our hearts and desires. . . that have to power to turn our hearts toward God.  This is not a works-based theology. . . we are not earning the free gift of Salvation.  Christ did that on the cross.  We are merely choosing a better way of life - a life centered on Christ - a heart devoted to God.


Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 1
Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 2
Desiring the Kingdom for the (Home)(School)

An Introverted Thanks-Giving

I'm an introvert.  That's the technical term for shy, right?  Up until I met my Myer's-Brigg's obsessed husband I was merely shy, but he upgraded me to introverted.

Getting together with people is, well, a chore for me.  It is hard work - emotional work - and it takes its physical toll, too, the preparing to be with others.

Bible studies, church and church dinners, get-togethers with friends. . . they all leave me gasping for air at some point before-hand and wringing my hands till they're numb while we're together.

But always, always, always after. . . I'm thankful.

Because people, for all the anxiety they bring me, are truly gifts from the Lord.  And every woman I've shared my heart with at a Bible study, and every friend I've laughed with over dinner. . . each one is a blessing.

* They still like to snuggle with me. . .
* Bright bursts in the sky.
* A day to celebrate - together.
* Old men yelling at baseball game.
* The thrill of a good play.
* A LATE night of TV and hot wings the night before the last day of vacation.
* A crying 5yo who wants me, his mom.
* Kids in baseball caps, hot dogs in hand.
* Freedom in Christ - the most important and hardest-won freedom of all.
* Sweaty summer evenings.
* A 7yo who hasn't cried for me in quite a while. . . And now. . .
* Feta. . . and sweetened whipped cream. . . yum.
* Cold, orangy pops.
* The quiet beauty of an early summer morning.
* Personal pizza with the kids.
* Encouraging husband and sharing struggles.
* Trusting God to give what He thinks we need, not what we think we need.
* 5yo whispers in the middle of the night.
* Early morning bunny-sighting with 3yo.
* 5yo on  a bike.
* Fellowship with good friends.
* Waiting for things to ripen.
* Picking our own home-grown blackberries.
* Sweet sleep. . . finally.

The Hard-to-See Blessings

Two little twin boys - miracles to their mother - answers to prayers, so many prayers of so many people prayed with so many tears. . .  They are truly gifts from God.  They are gifts He gave each to the other.

I watched them today at church, just turned a year old.  They crawled after eachother, looked for one another when sad or worried, played with eachother like the best friends they are.  I wonder if they will ever realize the blessing they have in one another.

Sometimes the most obvious blessings are the hardest to see.

* My garden.
* Chicken pasta salad - a summer staple at our house.
* Berries.
* Frozen fresh fruit - yum.
* Sweet fellowship with a small few after the crowd goes home.
* No more credit cards!
* Lyme disease test - NEGATIVE!
* LONG hike through the hilly woods - single file - crying finally stopping and root-hopping beginning.
* Cold water.
* Italian - yum.  Juicy pear water ice - yum.  Eating both with good friends - laughing, sharing - happy and warm.
* Quiet reading out back at dusk.
* Saying, "No."
* The smell of tomato vine on my hands.
* Generous strangers that give coupons so six treats at the water ice shop only cost $5.
* Colors.
* Warm sun first thing in the morning.
* Snuggly sleeping bag in the family room - all ready for a 3yo.
* The joy a yellow pad of paper brings to a 5yo.
* Family.
* A dripping hose.
* Blooming zinnias and poppies.
* Baby watermelons, cantaloupes, tomatoes and carrots.
* Pepper plants having a growth spurt.
* Dirt - you can't messy it up.  :)
* Golden hay lying across sunny fields.
* Book browsing.
* Voice of an old, dear friend just dripping Southern charm - a reminder of "home."
* Smell of herbs in the garden shop.

Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 2

Every day people get out of bed, get themselves cleaned up and ready for the day, eat breakfast or grab a cup of coffee to-go, and drive to work or school or play-dates.  We spend our lunches together at resturants or alone in front of a TV or computer screen.  We talk, converse, share ideas.  We work, play, and plan.  We come home to spend some time in rest or in more work with a family - watching TV, cleaning the house, helping kids with homework.  Then we get cleaned up again and climb into bed just to get ready to do it all over again the next day. 

Habits.  Rituals.

They are all necessary parts of life.  And each habit produces a desire and an idea of what is worthy of our desire.

We can't help but live this life.  Unless we are going to live a life completely separated from the world, we have to engage in these habits.

Smith's solution, in his book Desiring the Kingdom - his idea for keeping our hearts after the Kingdom of God - is to engage in counter-formative rituals.  The various elements of Christian worship, when made a habit or regular practice, will work to both show us the Gospel and give us the opportunity to practice living the Christ-centered life together.  He offers some great ideas in his book, aimed, I believe, at those heading churches and / or Christian education establishments.  I, however, have tried to use his ideas and bring them down to a practical and personal level.  Here are the first six habits I have adapted from his book.

THE HABIT OF ORGANIZING YOUR TIME

• Organize your time according to the Liturgical Year, observing annual celebrations and holy days as well as weekly Sabbaths.
• Reserve the periods of Advent and Lent as times of penitence - times of denial, self-examination and waiting.

This habit of organizing your time around the church year will serve as a sort of exercise in desiring the Kingdom of God.  While we await a weekly day of worship and rest, and then, while we live through the self-denying periods of Advent and Lent, we learn to desire the coming of the Kingdom.

THE HABIT OF GATHERING TOGETHER

• Regularly gather together for worship and fellowship.
• Regularly gather together with other Christians that are not your mirror image - Christians who are quite different in so many ways from yourself but who share the common bond of Christ with you.
• When you regularly gather with other Christians, make a habit of "invoking" the mercy and grace of God.

This habit of gathering together serves to bring renewal and restoration for us, the broken members of the Body of Christ, so that we can go out and suffer and serve a lost world.  We come together with our sins and weaknesses and look, together, to God for healing and strength, mercy and forgiveness.

THE HABIT OF WELCOMING IN

• Accept God's invitation to commune with him.  Practice regular interaction, conversation with God.
• Regularly welcome others into your life and your home as God welcomes you into relationship with Him.

When we habitually practice hospitality, both receiving God's hospitality to us and extending hospitality to others, we are reminded that we need God. . . we need eachother. . . we need relationship. . . we come to desire it even more, that connection with God and our brothers and sisters.

THE HABIT OF MAKING MUSIC

• Sing to the Lord, often.
• Make singing with others in the body of Christ a regular practice, both at church and other gatherings, even just casual get-togethers.
• Memorize psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.

By ritualistically making music to the Lord, we first strengthen our faith and belief in Him and His word.  Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs are a beautiful reiterration of our belief in God; and they serve to both build up and reinforce our belief system.  When we sing together with other believers, we practice what the Bible teaches about serving as one body composed of many parts.  We can come together with Christians of all backgrounds and still create one beautiful melody.

THE HABIT OF SEEKING GOD'S WILL

• Begin each day by looking to the Lord for guidance.
• Make a habit of reminding yourself of the two greatest Commandments:  Love the Lord with your whole being, and love others as you love yourself.

A regular dose of guidance from God, a reminder of His Commandments helps us to reprioritize our lives and creates a desire for God's vision for our lives as opposed to our own that may be warped by the habits of our culture.

THE HABIT OF CONFESSING AND RECEIVING FORGIVENESS

• Confess your sins to God often.  Take time out of each day to reflect on your life and really take a hard look at where you are falling into sin.
• Make a regular practice of confessing your sins to your brothers and / or sisters in Christ.  "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed."  Look, together with other Christians, at where you are all struggling personally as well as where you, as a body of believers, are failing to fulfill God's call.
• Just as important as the practice of confessing sin is the practice of receiving God's grace and forgiveness.  If this is something that you struggle with, come up with a tangible way to remind yourself of your forgiveness, something that you can put on or touch or, perhaps, writing your confession on paper and then wadding it up and throw it away.

Sin, itself, is just a sign that we've misprioritized.  In other words, when we sin, we place greater importance on something other than God and His kingdom.  We love something else more - desire something else more.  Confession and repentence help us to reprioritize, to re-aim our hearts toward God.  And, when we confess, and then receive forgiveness, we play out the Gospel message both privately and then, also, corporately with other Christians.

Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 1
Desiring the Kingdom ~ Part 3
Desiring the Kingdom for the (Home)(School)

Welcoming ~ A Personal Inventory

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."
~ 2 Peter 4:9

Full of prickles I am.  Who would want to draw close?  I send out an arms-length vibe and I prick when those closest draw in.

I have no door know - no way in.  People can get in with effort, but I don't open the door - they must struggle to find their own way.

I offer no seat - no place to sit and kick off shoes.  "You can stay. . . for a bit," I wordlessly say.

Lord, get rid of my arms-length prickles that poke and frighten, show me how to open wide the door of my heart to loving relationships and offer a long stay to family and friends.  This is where welcoming begins.

Gratitude 3

When the kids get stomach sick, I cringe.  I soothe; yet I cringe, and my heart stops beating for a moment, and my lips and fingertips get cold and tingly.  Having to help my husband through over 24 hours of nausea and vomitting. . . well, I won't lie. . . it is horrible. 

He lies there in bed. . . in too much pain to move. . . so I move for him.  From the sofa in the living room I spend a night waiting for his cry then running to his side to help him.

15.  I'm grateful I am the helper, not the helped.  As bad as it seems. . . I'm grateful it isn't me.  But I'm also grateful God is helping me to be the helper He created me to be.  I don't have that strength in me outside of Him.

And just when things seem complicated enough.  Just when I think I can't handle another burden. . . the kids, and I get sick.  One by one come the coughs, the headaches and sore throats, the fevers.  But I won't stop to cry.  I have not the time nor energy nor desire to wallow. 

16.  I'm grateful for the beautiful weather we.  Even sick kids can go out in beautiful weather.  I can open the windows and let in fresh air - breathe it in and feel that much closer to health.

I wake up to the horrible realization that I have a doctor's appointment for myself.  Oh, no.  Sick husband upstairs in bed, sick kids huddled down in the family room - but I've not seen a doctor in two or three years. . . and this appointment is already a reschedule. . .  So I go.  With two fevered, coughing kids I go to the family practice office for the second time this week - this time without the 6'4" mass of walking pain beside me. . . no, I leave him home this time.  Yet, my four year old slumps over on my side to rest while my two year old scales the waiting room walls, and I'm so tired and discouraged and feel like I just shouldn't have come.

17.  I'm grateful for such a joyful doctor and such patient nurses.  Not only do they laugh and play with my kids; they are kind-hearted enough to tell me that my little ones are well-behaved.  As the two of them stick their heads around the hidey curtain and drop crayons all over the floor and hang from medical equipment, the doctor and nurse choose gratitude.  They reminded me to do the same.

The week fills my mind with questions.  I don't really know what's going on; I just pretend to for his sake and the sake of all those who come by with food and call with inquiries.  But I don't know - I just guess - stabs in the dark - hopeful responses to my own questions.

18.  I'm grateful for community.  The ladies at church (and husband's work) bring food, and our friend -the doctor - our family doctor. . . he's so committed.  He calls at least once a day to check on us, he prays with me on the phone, he assures me that his cell phone is at his side all day and night if I have a concern or question. . . his wife, my friend and accountability partner, gets the women organized to bring meals and calls to check on me and promise her prayers.  Tired from taking so much care, I rest in the knowledge that I'm taken care of, myself.

We are all frazzled - working on that last remnant of patience we all have left.  We are fighting, snipping, shouting. . .  How much longer?  When will this end?  I'm asked these questions by everyone - even myself. 

19.  I'm grateful for a good friend - the best kind of friend - the kind that just decides to come pick up all your kids, even the sick and contagious ones, and takes them for nine (yes, nine) hours.  They get time at a new park, spaghetti and ice cream sundaes (the biggest ever), a trip to the movies, and time with their favorite family.  I get a long phone chat with my mom, some cleaning time, a load of laundry, quiet time with a good book, and a two hour nap.  I'm ready for another week of this.

The headache has ceased.  The fever is gone.  Now we seek recovery.

20.  I'm grateful for healing.

And I get a call from my friend - the doctor's wife.  Their landlord is putting their house - their home - up for sale.  I can hear the emotion in her slow, deliberate words.  With kids swarming around me as I listen, I realize:  Now it's my turn.

21.  I'm grateful I can take my friend to God in prayer.  She was there for me, now I will be there for her.  And the prayers begin.  And they won't stop till the answer is made clear. . .  then they will be replaced with thanksgiving.